By:Team Journalist. 7/6/2011. 12:51 PM
The Balls Deep softball team in years past has been comparable with the United States economy; they’ve had their fair share of disappointments, often leaving avid gambling members of the fan base homeless. There was the winless season back in 2009. Then there were the 271 errors committed in 2010. And the constant miscommunication on the teams Facebook thread has caused a few strained relationships among the players.
But something happened Tuesday night in the season opening game against Go Fish that may jolt Balls Deep further than they’ve ever penetrated. Trailing 8-0 in the fourth inning, the team had yet to produce a single hit, causing some members of the team to have Vietnam-type flashbacks of being dominated in 2009. Then an unlikely hero started what would become a team record rally.
Designated hitter and part time catcher Jordan May poked a single up the middle, starting a furious rally in which Balls Deep pounded 11 runs on the scoreboard. May has been battling a serious hand injury for two seasons now, and several fans were wondering if he would even play this year. Keep in mind this was all with two outs. Kevin Freeman has to be acknowledged for being faster than most animals. League officials are checking into his birth certificate to see if he is indeed fully human. The unofficial count is that he scored four runs in the game.
Fast forward to the bottom of the 7th and here is where you can tell the Balls Deep franchise may be coming into its own. Leading 15-11, Go Fish started to cream Balls Deep newly converted pitcher Danny Kolta, exploding shots all over the outfield. With the score now 15-14 and runners on first and third, the ball game was on the line. Kolta fired a changeup right into the strike zone to an unnamed 450 lb. Go Fish player. The softball looked like it was headed for the gap, but out of nowhere LCF Ben Wheeler made a tremendous grab to secure the victory.
Some will point to other Balls Deep wins during the inaugural season in 2008 as some of the most important in team history. Those wins occurred during an offensive rally though. The Balls Deep defense tightened up when it mattered most, something we’ve never seen this early in a season.
Game two of the doubleheader ended a little differently. The final score was something like 24-7. But it didn’t matter. Balls Deep was .500 to start the season for the first time.
Zach Hally – The Team President and de facto leader was terrorizing softballs last night and anyone who was trying to have fun. Only one member of the team has paid Hally and he was letting his frustrations be known. Many members in the media second guessed his lineup decision in game two, but its hard to criticize possibly the best player on the BDeep roster.
Danny Kolta – A spur of the moment decision suggested by team journalist Kevin Jones prompted Kolta to be thrust onto the pitchers mound, where he excelled. The 5’2” Egyptian didn’t throw many meatballs and even flashed his glove on a few comebackers. He did struggle serving as the teams leadoff man. I would expect a lineup change next week.
Chris Albright – The grunt heard round the world! Albright surprisingly kept the ball on the ground much of the night, but it worked out well. He recorded a thundering triple which had the ladies in the ballpark blushing over how good his new haircut looks. Albright did well in the outfield but his speed out there will be an issue at times.
Carlos Davila – After trade rumors had surfaced for a few weeks now, “Los” finally showed up to Braddock Park, causing a sigh of relief amongst the hardcore in the fan base. Los has even brought on Primetime Sports Bar and Grille as a fulltime sponsor showing his dedication to the team. His usual energy wasn’t there last night and a couple of throwing errors had some teammates shaking their heads. Los’ liveliness will be needed as a pick-me-up for Balls Deep in game two of doubleheaders.
Andrew Ofano – The sole lefty on the roster, Ofano mashed a few softballs into the gap and was huge during that 4th inning rally. He experimented at shortstop and in left, but I’d like to see him in LCF at some points.
Ben Wheeler – A verbal spat with teammate Kevin Jones didn’t slow down the only D-1 athlete on the roster, or did it? Jones questioned Wheelers’ hustle but “Casper” made up for it by not committing one error in the field. Jones claims the comment was for motivation purposes and he didn’t mean any harm. Since the opening season in 2008, Wheeler may have lost some power. A recent trip to Europe had him away from athletics for quite possibly the longest period of his life.
Armani Khoddami – After a two year hiatus, Khoddami actually flashed leather at second base, something shocking to those close to Balls Deep. Armani had been an error machine in his first season with the club. There are rumors Khoddami has been in talks with a team in Cincinnati. His contract expires later this month.
That’s it for your first Balls Deep report. Stay tuned in all season long for the inside scoop on softball’s most gossiped about franchise.